Get to know each other better
To connect with other people is vital for human beings. How can we get to know the people around us better?
Getting to know others…
… is very important for people.
Did you know that already as a newborn, you start to connect with the people close to you? First, your parents, then your brothers and sisters and grandparents, and later on with friends, classmates, teachers and others – or other people you meet.
To feel like we know other people and that we are not alone is important to everyone. But why is that? And how can we get to know people around us better? We will give you some tips here.
Mor går tur ved en elv på fjellet med baby i bæresele på magen.
Research shows
Every year the Norwegian Institute of Public Health finds out what it is that makes us happy. Having good relationships is always at the top of the list.
When we have good connections with other people, it makes us feel happier. When we have positive experiences, the brain releases different hormones. These hormones make us feel happier and calmer in general.
Having friends and family that know you can give you an important feeling of security. It is satisfying to know that you mean something to others. It is also good to be able to share thoughts and feelings with others in a safe place.
Good relationships can help how you feel about yourself. They can help you understand who you are because your identity is partly formed by the people around you.
Research shows that if you are in a difficult situation and get support from the people around you, you will do better.
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To par hender holder et rødt hjerte sammen.
Community
Perhaps you have heard that people are pack animals? This means that you need to feel that you belong with other people. When you are seen and heard by the people around you, your ‘flock’, you will feel that you belong together.
You can see your community as your framework. That could be the society you live in, the school you go to, the class you are in, or your family – basically the environment you live in.
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Tegnet multikulturell folkemengde.
Unity
Unity is found inside a community. It is the relationships in smaller groups, like the ones you have with your friends or classmates. The really good thing about these relationships is that they give us a feeling of belonging. When we talk with each other we realise we are not alone with our thoughts and feelings.
Everyone can feel that they are alone and that no one else feels the same way. It can be helpful to know that this is normal and that everyone feels this way sometimes.
Trusting that these feelings are normal makes us more prepared to get by in difficult situations and makes it easier to handle challenges.
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Tre ungdommer sitter i en park og holder om hverandre.
Nobody is the same
We are born with the need for human contact. But we have different ways of being social. Some people like to talk and others like to think before they speak. Some people speak loudly and others are more quiet. Some people get energy from being around other people and others get energy from being on their own. Most people are a mix of many different things.
No matter what kind of personality you have, it is important to get to know others.
Almost everyone can find it difficult and scary to get to know new people. Even when you begin to know someone, it can be hard. Experts point to two things that are important when you want to get to know someone better: you need to show your true personality and show real interest in the other person.
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Sjenert tenåringsgutt med skolesekk og hette på hodet.
Methods
Now you have a bit of background on why it is important to get to know other people better. But…
- How can you continue?
- What do you need to focus on?
- What should you do next?
Tenåringsjente med håndtegnede spørsmålstegn over hodet.
Ask questions
To get to know each other, someone needs to start talking. It could be by asking a question or being invited to play a quiz. What would you like to know about the other person? Remember not to ask anything that you would not be able to answer yourself.
The goal of the quiz is for everyone to be seen and heard. Everyone answers the questions, so think about which questions are suitable. Keep it simple.
If you’re out for a walk in the woods, it could be a good idea to ask questions focused on something to do with the excursion or nature. Or, if you are at school, the first question could be something to do with your school. If you know that you are both interested in computer games, you can start there.
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Mor med tre barn i ulik alder går tur i skogen om sommeren.
Ask follow-up questions
This is really important. To keep the conversation going, you need to ask follow-up questions. Just ask what comes to your mind. You can also talk about other topics that show who you are and what you think and feel. You can easily go back to the questions that you were first talking about.
Far og sønn har en samtale mens de går tur i parken.
Listen properly
Nobody likes to talk to someone who isn’t listening. Put your mobile phone away and focus on the person who is talking. Look them in the eye and show them that you are listening. Listen well and look for what thoughts or feelings you have about what the other person is saying. Building relationships is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and effort.
To venninner sitter i en sofa og snakker sammen.
Sources:
- Kvam, Kjersti:
Bedre kjent-boka (2021)
Oslo. Cappelen Damm.
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