Get to know each other better
To connect with other people is vital for human beings. How can we get to know the people around us better?
Getting to know others…
…is actually very important for human beings.
Did you know that already as a newborn, you start to bond with the people closest to you? First of all, with your parents, then your siblings, grandparents, and eventually with friends, classmates and teachers – or other people that you socialise with.
To feel like we know other people and that we are not on our own is more important than anything else to all people. Why is this? And how can we get to know the people around us better? We’ll give you some tips here.
Mor går tur ved en elv på fjellet med baby i bæresele på magen.
Research shows
Every year the Norwegian Institute of Public Health finds out what makes Norwegians feel good. Having good relationships always comes at the top of the list.
Research shows that having close bonds with other people actually makes us feel happier. The reason is that the brain releases the hormones serotonin and dopamine when we experience something positive. This makes us feel happier and calmer in general.
Having friends and family who know you well can also give an important sense of security. It is satisfying to know that you mean something to others. It is also valuable to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with others without the fear of being rejected.
Good relationships can also help your confidence. They can help you understand who you are, since your identity is also shaped through acknowledgment from the people around you.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, research also shows that people that get support from their loved ones are better able to cope.
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To par hender holder et rødt hjerte sammen.
Community
You may have heard that people are pack animals? This means that you need to feel a sense of belonging with other people. When you are seen and heard by the people around you, your ‘flock’, a sense of unity and community occurs.
Your community can be seen as your framework. It could be the society you live in, the school you go to, the class you are in, or your family. Basically, it is the environment where you live.
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Tegnet multikulturell folkemengde.
Unity
Unity is what is found inside a community. It is the relationships found in smaller groups, such as the bonds you have with friends or classmates (if your school is your community). The really positive thing about unity is that when we speak with each other, we realise that we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings.
At times everyone can feel like they are all on their own and that nobody else feels the same way. When this happens, it can be an enormous comfort to know that what we are experiencing is completely normal.
Normalisation makes us better able to cope with difficult situations and makes it easier for us to cope with hardship and challenges.
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Tre ungdommer sitter i en park og holder om hverandre.
Nobody is the same
Despite the fact that our basic need for human contact is innate, we have different ways of being social. Some people are really chatty while others like to think more before they speak. Some people speak really loudly while others speak more softly. Some people are outgoing and others are reserved. Most people are a mixture of lots of different things.
Whatever your personality traits are, it is important to get to know other people.
Almost everyone can experience some difficulty in initiating contact to get to know people better. Even when you begin to get to know someone better, it can be challenging. Experts point out two things that are important when you want to get to know someone better. You need to show all your traits honestly, and you need to be genuinely interested in the other person.
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Sjenert tenåringsgutt med skolesekk og hette på hodet.
Methods
Now you have a bit of background on why it is important to get to know other people better. However…
- How can you continue?
- What do you need to focus on?
- What should you do next?
Tenåringsjente med håndtegnede spørsmålstegn over hodet.
Ask questions
The first thing that needs to happen is that you or someone else needs to take the initiative. This can either be by asking someone to play a quiz with you or just by asking them some questions. Be honest and curious. What would you like to know about whoever you are speaking to? Your questions shouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t be able to answer yourself.
The goal of the quiz is for everyone to be seen and heard, so everyone will need to answer the questions asked. Think about what themes are suited for discussion. Keep it simple.
If you’re out for a walk in the woods, it could be a good idea to ask questions focused on something to do with the excursion or nature. Or, if you are at school, the first question could be something to do with your school. If you know that you are both interested in computer games, the conversation could start there.
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Mor med tre barn i ulik alder går tur i skogen om sommeren.
Ask follow-up questions
This is really important because with follow-up questions you’ll reach further. Ask any questions that come to mind there and then. You can then lead the conversation onto other topics which show who you are and what you think and feel. It is easy to jump back to the starting point, if needed, to the questions that you were first talking about.
Far og sønn har en samtale mens de går tur i parken.
Listen properly
Nobody likes to talk to someone who isn’t listening. Put your mobile phone away and focus on the person who is talking. Look them in the eye and show them that you are listening. Listen well and look for what thoughts or feelings you have about what the other person is saying. Building relationships is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and effort.
To venninner sitter i en sofa og snakker sammen.
Sources:
- Kvam, Kjersti:
Bedre kjent-boka (2021)
Oslo. Cappelen Damm.
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